Telling my Story Blog, continued . . .
The cool thing is, the way we tell our story – the actual words we pick – is totally connected to the vibes and symbols around us. Those words we choose to describe our life's journey? They actually chart our path. They reflect what's going on in our heads and why we do what we do. Our stories, and everyone else's too, are like a map. They show us what's happened and help us keep pushing forward when we link them to our goals and dreams, and to what we truly know about our Authentic Self.
Keeping It Real: Telling Your Story with Integrity
Now, telling your story with integrity? That's bigger than you might think! What does it even mean? It means your actions actually match up with the awesome qualities you say you have. It also means you've taken a good, hard look in what I like to call "The Mirror of True Seeing" and been honest with yourself. No pretending, no saying one thing and doing another.
This "Mirror of True Seeing" is seriously one of our best tools. In all those classic hero's journey tales, there's always that crucial moment where the hero has to face a super important mirror. Think about your favorite movies or books – bet there's a mirror scene that changes everything! This mirror demands that the hero truly sees, and then keeps looking. It might seem like an impossible challenge, but it's not just for the super strong heroes. It's about figuring out if you've got that "hero material" inside you. Being a hero means being Truly You, striving to be your best self, and accepting who you are.
The only rule for successfully looking into this mirror? To see your True Self. And yeah, it can be tough. (Honestly, if it's easy, something's probably off!) This "Mirror of True Seeing" isn't a one-and-done deal; it becomes a regular part of your journey to becoming your True, Authentic Self.
This whole process builds a relationship of integrity with yourself. When you consciously choose your path and then take responsibility for the relationships that matter, you become accountable to yourself. That means you own your decisions every step of the way, and in doing so, you truly possess yourself.
Learning to tell your story clearly and with integrity isn't a breeze. It takes practice! Using the facts is key, and finding the right words to speak your truth is crucial. Getting comfortable with yourself and the story of your self? That's another big step.
Even as we claim our story, the "us" we show to the world creates an IMAGE that others take in. The more authentically we show up, the more that image solidifies because our actions align with our words.
Own Your Narrative, Own Your Space
By living a life with purpose and fiercely owning the right to tell your own story, you gain a powerful tool in the public eye. You secure control over your own narrative, and ultimately, your own space. It also sets in motion the power and authority you need to steer your future. If your actions contradict your words, or if you act differently depending on who you're with, you lose the authority to tell your story – and trust me, no one wants others telling their story for them!
We're constantly influenced by the imagery around us, and in turn, we become that imagery. Our social environment shapes us because we react to it. At the same time, these circumstances give us the tools, opportunities, or limits that determine the stories others will tell about our lives.
Because... guess what? I'm not the only one telling stories about me. And you're not the only one telling stories about you. That's why it's so incredibly important that our actions match our words. When others share our story, it needs to be consistent with who we truly are.
And here's something cool: our story isn't just about us as individuals. These stories get collected and heard by others. Each of us contributes to the grand narrative of humanity, right here, right now. It's pretty amazing when you think about it.
What's "society"? It's all of us blending together to create a community, or lots of communities, as we each play our part. Because of this, we naturally adjust our journey to fit society, our family, friends, and acquaintances. In other words, we consciously adapt our actions to our evolving understanding of the situations we're in, even as we're actively involved.
So, how do you see yourself as part of this huge human story? And more importantly, how do you want to be involved in the unfolding of the world's narrative?
Be the Star of Your Own Life Story
To really understand yourself – to understand THE SELF – you've gotta be the main character in your own story. Every single day, as you live it, you're telling yourself the story of your life. Even when you're in "doing" mode, you're narrating to yourself. While you're doing something, you're mentally telling yourself the story of that "doing," and later, you'll probably tell yourself (and others) what you did. You'll do and say a ton of things every day – like, oodles. Not only will you remember doing and saying these things, but you'll have an opinion about yourself and what you did. You'll interact with others, and you'll make an impact on the world around you. All these actions and events? They become part of your ongoing story.
Life is layered, right? You'll deal with consequences, both immediate and long-term, and you'll have to follow up or fulfill expectations based on what you said and did. You'll run into distractions – some will be obligations, some will be obstacles. And some of those might even be worthwhile endeavors that you need to add to your story. Because we're human and have feelings, there'll always be something weighing a little heavy on your mind, and sometimes it won't be "little" at all, but a huge burden that pulls you off track.
We all know how this goes.
Life is like a story, and we live it, and we tell it to ourselves and others. What I just described is pretty minimal for the average person who has a million things to do in a day and a bunch of people or things around them.
Every day has a beginning, a middle, and an end, and we tend to think of it that way. We automatically structure our days like a story. We use certain words as if the day is linear, with each event happening one after another:
"I'm going to get up, wash my face, make breakfast, and brush my teeth. I'll get dressed and check my schedule, then head to work. I'll drop off the dry cleaning and get to work in time to prep for my presentation, and then..."
Bet you're already thinking of all the things I left out, like checking emails, taking care of kids or pets, those unexpected phone calls, changes in work plans, traffic, daydreaming, or having to change your outfit because you spilled breakfast on your shirt... you know, all those "little" things that pop up every day. The point isn't that the unexpected happens, because we can plan for that. The point is that we tend to plan our day linearly, but in real life, events and conversations often overlap, get tangled up, fall off the schedule, or switch places. We make room for the unexpected as a matter of course, and we do it with relative ease, all while still thinking of it as a beginning, middle, and end. This way of thinking makes an event understandable, but it might not be exactly how it happened. Instead, it's how we structure it for comprehension. Putting our experiences into this kind of multidimensional understanding is what makes it all make sense. We tell ourselves: this happened, then that, and then the other thing, when in reality they probably happened all at the same time, wrapped around each other, and maybe even went back and forth. And that's totally okay! It's normal to sort through events and turn them into a clear story that you can tell yourself and others.
MY life is a story, and so is YOURS. And it's not just the daily stuff, is it? Your story started at birth and has continued right up until this very second. ALL OF IT. What's the most important part? The only truly necessary piece, of course, is YouWonderfulYou.
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